James Fuqua's Law Jokes

Letter to Ann Landers

Dear Ann Landers,

I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Seatown and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Australian. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland, for the rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently being held in the Wellington remand center on charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to a former Thai prostitute who lives in Christchurch and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel, however she is currently infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel. With my fiancée utilizing her knowledge of the industry, she would be the perfect manager. I am hoping that my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and hopefully off the heroin as well.

My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family, and (of course) I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being an attorney.